As a neurodivergent woman it would be great if people understood that I have an expansive range of emotions and empathy - but what triggers the reactions is so very different. This has meant that I have been judged on not having the right reaction at the right time in the right way. I have been dismissed and overlooked because not reacting how people expect or how they would like.

Worse is that when I have shared my inner world where my reactions and responses steam from I am told I am wrong. I have been told - “no, it isn’t too loud - too bright - too noisy - you are over reacting - you need to stop being so sensitive.”

There is no pleasing the people of the world that both judge me and criticise from my response.

So fuck em.

If you ask I will share my world, but I will not offer it freely and wait to be scorned, scoffed at or corrected.

I am In charge of asking for what I want and want I need to feel included in the world.

Napping.

The mind is a heavy thing to run so intensely and sleep takes away all the senses all at once.

It is a true reset.

Stop assuming same supports will provide the same comfort.

Also - be kind - doesn’t mean shit - I don’t know what you want me to do - I have tied myself in knots trying to get it right and still failed.

What you are trying to say is - Don’t be an arsehole.

On stage. Sharing my knowledge. It is me talking until I invite you to join me. I get to be in charge and I know when it is my turn to talk.

When I was 7, I had a red purse in the shape of an apple. I had my first $5 note in it. I had won money at the local Yankalilla country show - I had a couple first prizes for flower arrangement, drawing, and a couple of second prizes. I was very proud of myself.

I took the purse out when I was told to leave it behind because I had a habit of forgetting about my things and loosing them. But I wanted to show off. And by the end of the day I had forgotten and lost it. I didn’t cry even though I was crushed. I just smiled through my pain. It was my own fault - i should have listened. I really wanted to cry.

40 years later and it still hurts.

How quickly i can connect dots and create interesting questions and ideas.

I don’t care about your fear. I love talking about myself and the neurodivergent experience. It is your fear to get over not mine to soothe.